21 July 2014

Beautiful French moron

My younger brother is spending this summer chez moi in France. This trip being unforeseeable, he made the mistake of not taking French in high school. It has thus been my duty to teach him the basics.

My brother's specific inquiries into French expressions have been those that will facilitate his goal of scoring with a Française. So one night at dinner in Paris, he asks me, "How do you say 'you're beautiful'?"

Most of the time, my teaching skills are quite adequate. Other times, the bullshitter in me kicks in.

I suppress a smile. "Tu es débile," I tell him, carefully enunciating each syllable. "Débile," of course, is French for "moronic."

I listen patiently as he perfects his pronunciation, repeating over and over again, "You...are...moronic. You are...moronic. You are moronic."

Finally, when he feels he has it, he turns to our mother. He smiles sweetly and tells her, "Tu es débile."

It'll be an interesting summer.