06 April 2013

The preggo eggo


This morning on my run, I have the delight of spotting a hedgehog. When I get home, I mass-text my excitement to my family. My brother, being an asshole, does not recognize my number. Naturally I prey on his ignorance: Btw I think my eggo is preggo. You're the only possible father.

By the time I decide to send it, though, I've already switched messages. Too late, I realize it has been sent to my father.

Ten seconds later, I begin the explanation texts, you know, that was not for you, I apologize, etc. He immediately calls me, and so does my mother, but I don't answer because do you know how expensive international calling is.

I inform them by text that I am not pregnant, it really was a joke meant for someone else. For whom? My brother. Because that sounds likely.

When I tell my brother about my mistake, he decides to call my dad and tell him that I have in fact been knocked up by my one of my close friends. The fact that I have made plans to go on vacation this summer with that particular friend lends legitimacy to his claim.

And so my parents now believe I am with child and eloping to Finland with my baby daddy. Because that is just so me.